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September 14, 2019 by Emma Stone Categories: General

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I’m real proud of you for coming, bro. I know you hate funerals.

September 14, 2019 by Emma Stone Categories: General

Like a sloth. I can do that. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. I'm really more an apartment person. God created pudding, and then he rested. I'm a sociopath; there's not much he can do for me. Cops, another community I'm not part…

I’m a sociopath; there’s not much he can do for me.

September 14, 2019 by Emma Stone Categories: Articles, General

I'm really proud of you for coming, bro. I know you hate funerals. I like seafood. I'm going to tell you something that I've never told anyone before. I'm doing mental jumping jacks. I'm not the monster he wants me to be. So I'm neither man nor beast. I'm something new entirely. With my own…

You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME!

December 3, 2017 by Emma Stone Categories: General

You've swallowed a planet! Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I'm a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better? No… It's a thing; it's like…

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December 3, 2017 by Emma Stone Categories: Articles

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Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast.

December 1, 2017 by Emma Stone Categories: Articles

It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you. Say goodbye to these, because it's the last time! It's called 'taking advantage.' It's what gets you ahead in life. Army had half a day. Not tricks, Michael, illusions. Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast. We just call it a sausage. Now, when you…

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