Articles – Single-Page Classic

Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush.

September 14, 2019 by Emma Stone Categories: Articles

You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff. I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don't lie to me! I hate yogurt. It's just stuff with bits…

I’m a sociopath; there’s not much he can do for me.

September 14, 2019 by Emma Stone Categories: Articles, General

I'm really proud of you for coming, bro. I know you hate funerals. I like seafood. I'm going to tell you something that I've never told anyone before. I'm doing mental jumping jacks. I'm not the monster he wants me to be. So I'm neither man nor beast. I'm something new entirely. With my own…

Cupiditate non provident, similique sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollitia.

December 3, 2017 by Emma Stone Categories: Articles

Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco. Nisi ut aliquid ex ea commodi consequatur? Quis autem vel eum iure reprehenderit qui in ea voluptate velit esse quam. Nam libero tempore, cum soluta nobis est eligendi optio cumque nihil impedit quo minus id quod maxime placeat. Ut enim ad minima veniam, quis nostrum exercitationem…

Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast.

December 1, 2017 by Emma Stone Categories: Articles

It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you. Say goodbye to these, because it's the last time! It's called 'taking advantage.' It's what gets you ahead in life. Army had half a day. Not tricks, Michael, illusions. Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast. We just call it a sausage. Now, when you…

The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…

December 1, 2017 by Emma Stone Categories: Articles, General

I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself. You've swallowed a planet! They're not aliens, they're Earth…liens! Saving the world with meals on wheels. No, I'll fix it. I'm good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I'm the Doctor. Don't call me the…

Fry, you can’t just sit here in the dark listening to classical music.

December 1, 2017 by Emma Stone Categories: Articles, General

Ow, my spirit! Well, thanks to the Internet, I'm now bored with sex. Is there a place on the web that panders to my lust for violence? Yeah, lots of people did. You don't know how to do any of those. Why yes! Thanks for noticing. Why did you bring us here? Yes. You gave…

Categories

Tags