Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush.

You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don’t lie to me!

I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. Did I mention we have comfy chairs? I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don’t lie to me! I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself.

You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME!

Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. You know when grown-ups tell you ‘everything’s going to be fine’ and you think they’re probably lying to make you feel better? All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong?

I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in.

Aw, you’re all Mr. Grumpy Face today. You hit me with a cricket bat. No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness. Saving the world with meals on wheels. No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness.

Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you? Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you?

You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’! I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do!

Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish. Saving the world with meals on wheels. You hit me with a cricket bat.

You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. I’m nobody’s taxi service; I’m not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship.

I’m the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don’t know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don’t know why. I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you?

You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? No, I’ll fix it. I’m good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I’m the Doctor. Don’t call me the Rotmeister. Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you?

You hit me with a cricket bat. I’m nobody’s taxi service; I’m not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. Aw, you’re all Mr. Grumpy Face today. It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool.

*Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! No, I’ll fix it. I’m good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I’m the Doctor. Don’t call me the Rotmeister.

Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself. I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself.

I’m the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don’t know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don’t know why. It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don’t lie to me!

You’ve swallowed a planet! Aw, you’re all Mr. Grumpy Face today. Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish. You hit me with a cricket bat.